Think about the Black fathers you remember in movies. Often, they are portrayed as loud, perpetuating the stereotype that a Black male father knows nothing but fear and struggle. This depiction reflects the past. Our new generation of Black fathers needs to embrace a different approach—being present, yet quiet. This silence doesn’t equate to weakness; rather, it signifies strength, understanding, and control. I still grapple with this, especially as I approach 52. I notice how it affects my relationships beyond my connection with my children. Sometimes, I feel like they love me out of obligation rather than genuine affection. While I know they care for me, it seems influenced by what they’ve learned in school, on TV, and during Father’s Day celebrations. Loving your father is often viewed as a default, woven into our daily lives as a fundamental aspect of being human. It’s similar to the American Dream—an ideal to aspire to and achieve. Loving your dad is what most people do. Or, at least, that’s what I believed. Unfortunately, Black fathers sometimes struggle to navigate this expectation, facing profound challenges and consequences as a result.
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